Hi, I’m Reggie. Well, I’m not really, but that’s my pen name. I chose that name, because strippers use their childhood pet’s name. (I had a schnauzer named Reggie for about two weeks when I was a kid. He bit a lot of people, so my parents gave him away.) I’m a mom. I’m divorced (but have an awesome boyfriend). I’m in my early fifties. I live in a suburb of New Jersey. I’m Jewish. I don’t work in an office, but, since I’m my own husband, I do everything, like managing all the finances and confronting workmen who suck and overcharge me. I have my own drill and level and do that kind of stuff, too. Then I have those other responsibilities, like raising three charming, yet sometimes self-centered, kids and sorting laundry. I could be any woman you know. So, why should you care about what I write? I think you’ll see a piece of yourself in here.
I’ve been blogging for a private audience for many years, and they hear what I’m saying. I’m a private person by nature, but as I get older and much wiser, I realize that I probably have nothing to hide. I admit that I can be short-tempered with my kids, and that sometimes at night, I eat Oreos and the remains of their Pop Tarts, hating myself with every bite I take. I prefer flavored vodka to plain and silver tequila to anejo, and about once or twice a year, I puke from drinking. Though I accomplish a lot, I see myself as inherently lazy. I’m probably no different than any of you, but I’m just honest about my shortcomings.
You should know that I’ll curse (can’t believe I haven’t yet); talk about sex; talk about the characters in my life—using aliases to protect their privacy—and talk about mundane things, like when the gyno makes small talk about her trip to Cancun and acts as if her face isn’t buried in between my thighs. I’m not out to badmouth anyone, and I will try not to talk about politics much (but I do sometimes). My writing may be lightly strewn with grammatical errors, too many commas, and the who/whom thing may be wrong sometimes. When I become rich and famous, I’ll hire a copy editor to clean up for me, but for now, who really cares as long as you enjoy reading these?
I will write things that will make me feel completely naked, and the wicked combination of three childbirths and my age makes that pretty scary. I don’t like feeling vulnerable, but feeling safe hinders the truth in my writing. I’ll try to make you laugh, and I’ll try to make you think. Above all, I’ll probably make you feel really normal. Woman Uncorked is a slice of my life, but you’ll likely end up getting most of the pie.
Thanks for reading,
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