Category Archives: health

The Third Installment of House Arrest without an Ankle Monitor

Just when I thought there was nothing much more to say about life in this pandemic, the Door Dawg shows up on my feed. My last blog was a bit heavy. I’m sorry about that, because who needs more serious … Continue reading

Posted in community, confessions, day-to-day, disgust, environment, family, health, idiosyncracies, improvement, Judgment, medical, pet peeves, political, shame, social media, trends, Uncategorized | 3 Comments

The Sequel to House Arrest without an Ankle Monitor

Except for Godfather Part II, sequels normally suck. But, because I’ve gotten such a great response to my last blog, “House Arrest without an Ankle Monitor,” I’m going to continue my list of things I’ve learned from being on lockdown. … Continue reading

Posted in aging, celebrities, community, confessions, day-to-day, disgust, environment, errands, exercise, family, friendship, health, idiosyncracies, Judgment, memories, pet peeves, political, sentimental, social media, trends | 12 Comments

House Arrest without an Ankle Monitor

I am guessing that, like me, you are reading too many heavy articles about the demise of our health and democracy. Another guess is that they sometimes leave you riddled with anxiety. So, here’s an easy read that won’t make … Continue reading

Posted in community, confessions, day-to-day, environment, errands, friendship, health, idiosyncracies, Judgment, medical, pet peeves, robes, social media, trends | 18 Comments

Confessions of an Imprisoned Housewife

To shave or not to shave? That is the question. That basically sums up the state of my personal hygiene these days. Two of my friends have great benchmarks for this. One said, “It was getting difficult to sleep.” The … Continue reading

Posted in community, confessions, day-to-day, death, disgust, environment, exercise, family, friendship, health, idiosyncracies, Judgment, Uncategorized | 8 Comments

Who Am I ???

So, I just gave away a Poland Spring 5-gallon jug of water. I don’t feel heroic, I don’t feel charitable, and I don’t feel awesome. You know how I feel? Fucking stingy!! I should have given two. I offered, and … Continue reading

Posted in aging, community, confessions, day-to-day, environment, errands, family, health, idiosyncracies, Judgment, medical, political, shame, social media, trends | 7 Comments

Lbs, Lbs Go Away

Dieting fucking sucks. I hate it with every bit of the fat layers that insulate my thighs, gut and neck region. I hate it like I hate people who lie. And, I hate it like I hate my banana bread … Continue reading

Posted in confessions, day-to-day, dieting, health, improvement, pet peeves, shame, trends | 3 Comments

Gowns and Assholes

So, turning fifty offers lots of perks. I went on a few amazing girls’ trips; my period is debuting less and less; I was thrown a surprise party, where a stripper had me straddle his face in front of the … Continue reading

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TO EAT IS HUMAN; TO BE THIN, DIVINE.

If Oprah is doing it, then so am I. About every three years, I give Weight Watchers a try. It’s usually at the point where the one pair of jeans that don’t constrict my abdominal region have absolutely no more … Continue reading

Posted in community, confessions, day-to-day, dieting, health, improvement | Leave a comment

YOU ARE (not) GROSS

“Everything off but your underwear. The doctor will be in soon,” she said as she handed me the paper gown. But, you didn’t tell me if the opening goes in the front or back. Ass first or second? Shit, I … Continue reading

Posted in aging, confidence, health, medical, nudity, shame | Leave a comment

Orange Is The New Pain

I am not a morning person. On weekdays, after only one snooze, I somehow get out of bed by 6:40 am. I pee, put in my contacts and smooth out my bed’s wrinkles before anally arranging my throw pillows. Then … Continue reading

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