What Plan?

It’s been a long fucking time. I won’t make excuses. We are all busy; I just haven’t made the time to blog. I’m now 50. I may look it, but I certainly don’t feel it. It’s summer, so I’m in my own world down here at the Shore. I’ve hosted lots of happy hours on my porch, and I grill all the time. Obviously alcohol is a constant with these activities. I’m one lucky MF. I hope you’re all enjoying your summers, too. 

Just say, “I fucked up. I’m an idiot.” I’d rather hear that than a thinly-veiled lie.

So, on a beautiful night like tonight, I’m not sure why I will write about flaky people, but it’s been on my mind. Let me just say right off the bat that I have the most amazing friends. I know we all think we do, but, no, that’s where you’re wrong. My friends are better than yours. It’s just a fact. But, some of my thoughtful, caring friends, who are also good listeners, suck at “remembering” plans. I use the quotes, because, let’s be honest, some of you are just plain full-of-shit at times. While I admit I have many flaws, I just don’t understand how people make a plan with complete enthusiasm at the moment and then go radio silent as the day approaches.

I know I will receive one of two responses from some of you. Some will ask me who recently blew me off to provoke this anger. And, some will call me out and say, “You’ve done this to me before, you hypocritical cunt.” I’ll answer the first question now—actually no one. This is just a culmination of a bunch of memories. And, as for people busting me, don’t bother, because I’m sorry if I’ve ever done this to you. Though, I really think I always admit and say sorry. 

It’s that tactic where they are holding off texting or calling, hoping that the plan-ee cancels on them first. Or, when you have a definite plan with a calendar date and a specific reservation with a friend, and then you receive a text like this: “So, what’s the plan?” Um, “What’s the plan?” How about you go eat a bag of shit, and I’ll find someone else who wants to spend the night with me? It may sound as if I can’t take people canceling, but that’s not the case. We all need to cancel sometimes—no biggie. It’s just the way people go about it, playing dumb to cover up selfishness or a better plan that came their way. Do these people really think we believe their fake news? (Yes, I used a 45 reference, because that’s how much I loathe this tactic.) Just say, “I fucked up. I’m an idiot.” I’d rather hear that than a thinly-veiled lie. I’ve messed up plans a ton. I just admit it and apologize. 

Hey, we all have some faulty wiring. I love the expression: “To err is human; to forgive divine.” So, I forgive you all your trespasses, and please forgive me mine. But, please try and not be such a flake—whether it’s natural or you’re being manipulative even just a tiny bit. 

I dedicate this blog to my high school best friend (and still today), who is the most sincere and natural flake. Some advice: Write things in your calendar, but then be sure to actually read them. xoxo

*All names have been changed.

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