Thank you, Donald Trump. I may not like you or respect you, but you have helped make me more aware of the state of the world. You say stupid things, you pick on people and you lie. And, that makes me—and the rest of the world—look. You are getting exactly what you want. I know this, because when my kids used to kick and scream in their twos, they wanted exactly the same thing—attention, and a lot of it. It’s never the well-meaning student council president in your high school who commands the spotlight; it’s the kid who throws his peanut butter sandwich at the cafeteria wall to see if it sticks. A buffoon like him is much more fun to watch. So, thank you for being the asshole who makes us want to read more, vote more and sometimes even march in the rain. 

By now, you’ve figured out I’m in the liberal camp. I’m not so far left, where I want to ban the manufacturing of Barbie Dolls. I do still use some plastic for convenience, and I didn’t think it was necessary for Kelly Clarkson and John Legend to change the lyrics to “Baby It’s Cold Outside.” I support the Me Too movement, but I don’t get terribly insulted if a man gets flirty with me (kind of like it sometimes). Hey, even feminists think the original song celebrates a woman taking control of her own sexual choices. I believe people can sleep with whomever they want, whether they’re female, male, both, neither, purple, pink or green. Love is love. You can do what you want with a pregnancy, and please don’t hate someone for being different from you or for moving here from another country.  

I’ll step down from my soapbox now, so I can explain how Trump has helped me. I’ll start with the isms and how I understand their meanings on a much deeper level due to his use of them. Can you name the ism represented by these quotes? 1. “Why are we having all these people from shithole countries come here?” 2. “It is a very scary time for young men in America, where you can be guilty of something you may not be guilty of…Women are doing great.” 3. Referring to neo-Nazis: “…you had some very bad people in that group, but you also had people that were very fine people, on both sides.” 4. “Nobody knows more about taxes than me, maybe in the history of the world.” 5. “[Ivanka] would’ve been great at the United Nations…” 6. “We had no Democrat support…They weren’t going to give us a single vote, so it’s a very difficult thing to do.” I’m ‘gonna guess you scored an A, but just in case, here’s the answer key: 1. racism 2. sexism 3. supremacism 4. narcissism 5. nepotism 6. partisanism 

I’ve also been able to brush up on words with foreign origins. We’ve got the Steele dossier, a French derivation, which means a bundle of papers with a label on the back. Then there’s quid pro quo, of Latin origin, meaning a favor granted for something in return. Oh, and we can’t forget about the Spanish word hombres, as in “…we have some bad hombres here, and we’re going to get them out.” Too bad it’s not 1985, and I’m taking the SATs. These could’ve helped.

Then there’s the impeachment. I was taught in junior high about Andrew Johnson, the first US president to be impeached in 1868. I lived through the second one, where Clinton, a blue dress and an intern were front page news in 1998. Now Trump is about to be put on trial for impeachment. A lot of Americans think that impeachment is the end of the line, but we know from Clinton that you can stay in office. Obviously, it’s a big stain on your legacy, though. It’s like a grand jury handing down an indictment in a criminal procedure, but the difference is that impeachment is a political proceeding and not a legal one. So, how did Nixon escaped being impeached despite the three articles of impeachment filed against him? He resigned before anything else happened. Thanks for this refresher course, Trump. 

The Trump circus has definitely made me a more thorough reader, an avid watcher of MSNBC and a stronger supporter of human rights. Plus, I never ever wrote about politics. Now, when I see those viral videos of a racist, ignorant person yelling at a Mexican to go back to where she came from, I often wish I was in that store or parking lot, too. I would love to step in and let my anger take over as I verbally take down that piece of scum. See, look how a moron like Trump has changed my fantasies. I used to think it’d be nice to have the voice of a Broadway star or to hang out with Madonna or Beyonce. Gee, how I’ve grown. 

I dedicate this blog to all good people everywhere. (I’m really tired tonight.)

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