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Category Archives: confessions
Touch Me, Don’t Touch Me
Here’s the thing about massages—they feel so good, yet they’re a complete and total mindfuck for me. A spa is like one, big aphrodisiac. It’s as if they’re sliding a tray of oysters down your throat the moment you walk … Continue reading
Posted in confessions, day-to-day, disgust, idiosyncracies, nudity, pet peeves, robes
1 Comment
She’s Still Standing, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah
It was 1998 when she was destroyed. I was 29, and she was just 24. We share the same birthday, five years apart. I’m making it sound like I know her, but I don’t. I know her the same way … Continue reading
Posted in celebrities, confessions, improvement, Judgment, love, political, shame, social media
6 Comments
Lbs, Lbs Go Away
Dieting fucking sucks. I hate it with every bit of the fat layers that insulate my thighs, gut and neck region. I hate it like I hate people who lie. And, I hate it like I hate my banana bread … Continue reading
Posted in confessions, day-to-day, dieting, health, improvement, pet peeves, shame, trends
3 Comments
Gowns and Assholes
So, turning fifty offers lots of perks. I went on a few amazing girls’ trips; my period is debuting less and less; I was thrown a surprise party, where a stripper had me straddle his face in front of the … Continue reading
Posted in aging, confessions, day-to-day, health, medical, political
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TO EAT IS HUMAN; TO BE THIN, DIVINE.
If Oprah is doing it, then so am I. About every three years, I give Weight Watchers a try. It’s usually at the point where the one pair of jeans that don’t constrict my abdominal region have absolutely no more … Continue reading
Posted in community, confessions, day-to-day, dieting, health, improvement
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Confessions of a Weirdo
Who the fuck eats the green Mike and Ikes? Or the green lifesavers? Why do they even make that flavor? Or, is the question really: Who still eats this tooth-rotting shit? This is where my hand shoots up from the … Continue reading
Posted in confessions, errands, idiosyncracies, pet peeves, shame
Tagged Amazon, confessions, Gadgets
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Protected: No Ring…No Problem
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Posted in confessions, love, marriage, sentimental
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Lost in the Supermarket
Have you ever run to the supermarket on a Monday evening? There’s only one reason you do this: your fridge and pantry are as barren as a spinster’s vag. I looked like shit, the kind of shit where I would … Continue reading
Posted in community, confessions, errands, pet peeves
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Mushrooms and More!
Hi. I’m back. A Things I Hate format seems a good way to break back in after a long pause due to laziness, busyness and a creative coma. So, these are some things I hate: SARAH FUCKABEE SANDERS: Let’s get … Continue reading
Posted in confessions, disgust, idiosyncracies, pet peeves, political
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