Category Archives: confessions

Touch Me, Don’t Touch Me

Here’s the thing about massages—they feel so good, yet they’re a complete and total mindfuck for me. A spa is like one, big aphrodisiac. It’s as if they’re sliding a tray of oysters down your throat the moment you walk … Continue reading

Posted in confessions, day-to-day, disgust, idiosyncracies, nudity, pet peeves, robes | 1 Comment

She’s Still Standing, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah

It was 1998 when she was destroyed. I was 29, and she was just 24. We share the same birthday, five years apart. I’m making it sound like I know her, but I don’t. I know her the same way … Continue reading

Posted in celebrities, confessions, improvement, Judgment, love, political, shame, social media | 6 Comments

Lbs, Lbs Go Away

Dieting fucking sucks. I hate it with every bit of the fat layers that insulate my thighs, gut and neck region. I hate it like I hate people who lie. And, I hate it like I hate my banana bread … Continue reading

Posted in confessions, day-to-day, dieting, health, improvement, pet peeves, shame, trends | 3 Comments

Gowns and Assholes

So, turning fifty offers lots of perks. I went on a few amazing girls’ trips; my period is debuting less and less; I was thrown a surprise party, where a stripper had me straddle his face in front of the … Continue reading

Posted in aging, confessions, day-to-day, health, medical, political | Leave a comment

TO EAT IS HUMAN; TO BE THIN, DIVINE.

If Oprah is doing it, then so am I. About every three years, I give Weight Watchers a try. It’s usually at the point where the one pair of jeans that don’t constrict my abdominal region have absolutely no more … Continue reading

Posted in community, confessions, day-to-day, dieting, health, improvement | Leave a comment

Confessions of a Weirdo

Who the fuck eats the green Mike and Ikes? Or the green lifesavers? Why do they even make that flavor? Or, is the question really: Who still eats this tooth-rotting shit? This is where my hand shoots up from the … Continue reading

Posted in confessions, errands, idiosyncracies, pet peeves, shame | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Protected: No Ring…No Problem

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Posted in confessions, love, marriage, sentimental | Enter your password to view comments.

Lost in the Supermarket

Have you ever run to the supermarket on a Monday evening? There’s only one reason you do this: your fridge and pantry are as barren as a spinster’s vag. I looked like shit, the kind of shit where I would … Continue reading

Posted in community, confessions, errands, pet peeves | Leave a comment

Mushrooms and More!

Hi. I’m back. A Things I Hate format seems a good way to break back in after a long pause due to laziness, busyness and a creative coma. So, these are some things I hate: SARAH FUCKABEE SANDERS: Let’s get … Continue reading

Posted in confessions, disgust, idiosyncracies, pet peeves, political | 1 Comment